simplicity is the key

training week is over and we start taking calls about today. i've been enjoying my new environment but my mind is full of things right now. bills to pay, projects to finish, movies to watch, books to read, stories to write, photos to take and people to reunite with. i need to focus with the job at hand and it'll take a lot of effort since i'm missing my beloved. i can't stop thinking about him. so it's a good thing that he came over the house yesterday. being in his arms and smelling him like that was intoxicating. at least now i can concentrate on my work and i can do more.

i hate not being able to pay my dues.i'm so wrapped up in meeting my obligations that i don't feel the christmas season. i am so broke! no money for gifts or for food. i'm a pauper till the next 3 months. i pray that i can weather this out. i don't like ruining people's trust by not being able to give their money back in time. i hope they can extend their patience with me. i guess it's going to be a sad birthday for me too. simple pleasures will have to do.

foodie!

i love food. i love the comfort it brings. it fills the stomach, sustains life and nourishes the soul. it also brings families together, shares good times with friends and even build relationships with strangers. the ironic thing about it is that i have never written anything about food. no food review of sorts, nothing to even convey how it tastes, its texture, color and how it plays. why? maybe because i didn't feel the need to do so.

yet, to honor and perhaps display my love for food, i have taken the habit of food photography with my camera phone. i think it's less intrusive to use that one instead of a digital camera to take a picture. my phone specs is pathetic because it only has VGA resolution but i have been able to take great pictures despite its mediocre quality. my goal for my birthday next year is to buy a decent camera phone, one with 3+ mega pixels. and perhaps start a camera photography group. i'm interested in photography but not so much on the technical side than on composition. i just want to capture great moments and beautiful, interesting things.

i am all but excited!

my treasures

here's a little peak at my book treasures:

The Reel Stuff(1998)
An anthology of stories edited by Martin H Greenberg and Brian M Thomsen

Science fiction has always been a natural vehicle for film and television, and now you can enjoy the original stories upon which the celluloid versions were based. Included are the creative inspirations that were the basis of such blockbusters as "Total Recall," "Screamers," and the recent hit "Mimic." Perfect for the science fiction fan or film buff who always wanted to know the stories behind the movies.

The City 2000 A. D.: Urban Life Through Science Fiction 1976)
An anthology of stories edited by Ralph Clem, Martin H Greenberg and Joseph Olander

Includes "New York: A.D. 2660" by Gernsback; "Jesting Pilot" by Kuttner; "Chicago" by Monteleone; "Street of Dreams, Feet of Clay" by Sheckley; "The Vanishing American" by Beaumont; "Billenium" by Ballard; "Total Environment" by Aldiss; "Black is Beautiful" by Silverberg; "In Dark Places" by Hensley; "East Wind, West Wind" by Robinson; "Disposal" by Ron Goulart; "The Undercity" by Dean Koontz; "Gas Mask" by James D.Houston; "Traffic Problem" by William Earls; "Gantlet" by Richard E.Peck; "City's End" by Mack Reynolds; "The Slime Dwellers" by Scott Edelstein; "A Happy Day in 2381" by Silverberg.

The Playboy Book of Science Fiction and Fantasy (1966)
An anthology of stories edited by Editors of Playboy

Despite (or perhaps because of) its once taboo subject matter, Playboy magazine has garnered a reputation as a market for daring, innovative short fiction since its inception in 1953. In particular, science fiction authors used Playboy as a forum for stories in which they explored literary themes and adult situations that would have rendered them unpublishable by mainstream SF magazines then aimed at teenagers. Alice K. Turner, Playboy's fiction editor, has collected a remarkable set of science fiction stories for this anthology. The list of prestigious, award-winning authors whose stories graced the magazine's pages between those (in)famous photos reads like a science fiction hall of fame: Ray Bradbury, Ursula K. Le Guin, Norman Spinrad, Damon Knight, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., J.G. Ballard, Frederick Pohl, Arthur C. Clarke, Larry Niven, Harlan Ellison, Philip K. Dick, Robert Silverberg, Joe Haldeman, and more. The stories span from the late 1960s through the late 1990s, with several SF subgenres such as new wave and cyberpunk represented. Some of these works are reprints, some are original, but each provides a glimpse into a fascinating sidebar in SF publishing.

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Happy reading!!

destiny

My dad said that when he saw my mom for the first time, he knew he was going to end up spending the rest of his life with her. Despite my mother snickering in the background, I find love stories that begin like this magical. It’s like seeing destiny hard at work in fulfilling what was written in the Book of Life centuries before.

I see destiny as a ninja, always lurking in the shadows. It follows us constantly, with his ear sharply attuned to the each thought and movement we make. It sets the stage for things (in relation to your future) to happen and changes things along the way too (when you veer away from what is suppose to happen).

Some people hate the concept of destiny or fate. They think that believing in such things absolves the person from taking control over their own lives. Why make things happen if they are meant to happen anyway? Why be an active participant in shaping your future self if being passive leads to the same result? What difference does each decision make?

Perhaps it’s the uncertainty of what version of our future selves do we become that drives us to live life with such a struggle. We can be whatever we want to be but only if we want it so much that our entire being shudders at the thought of being something else, something other than who we are destined to become. Because free will is mixed into the formula, destiny cannot do its mission properly without the person’s conscious efforts.

Destiny works in small ways. One day you just decide to become a singer and the next thing you know, you meet a choir leader. That’s destiny right there, setting you up for more vocal practice and bigger things. Sometimes, when destiny’s really generous, he’ll give it to you in one drop like landing a contract for a recording label. At times like this, you must remember that even destiny can’t wait forever.

I think that’s why the people who know about destiny, free will and conscious effort seem to be the happiest, successful and richest ones. They know they can’t control everything but with the things that they can change, they do something about it. Destiny can only go so far. After that, you are on your own.

moments

this is one of my favorite pictures. it's my sister with baby aj at the billiard hall. they came over to watch me practice and i guess baby aj liked the cool temperature that he fell asleep. they look so cute together! it's one of those things you'd like to look back on years after.

makes me wonder how i would be like as a mother..hmm, any thoughts?

and then there's this..

it's november! a few more days and i'll be moving along to a new adventure. and definitely the signs that this decision was the right one are still coming through. bills are getting paid, i still get to treat myself from time to time and i recently received news that i have old and lovely friends working there as well so it's not going to be that lonely after all! and guess what...i'm so happy that i'm even making sales (much to the dismay of my AMO and MO since i'm leaving soon).

i think i'm spreading myself thin with my many engagements from left to right. not to mention meeting my family obligations. so little time, so much to do! but i have no complaints. only that my body is screaming for a relaxing vacation. hopefully i can grant its request soon. for now, these sacrifices are worth the time i spend with my friends and loved ones.
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i need a room make over! i have old books, clothes, shoes and bags to dispose of. i want a semblance of order in my chaotic life and i'm starting with my room.

i really get excited whenever i think about the final look of my room. i haven't really decided on the colors but i've begun making floor plans and sketches of how i would like my room to be. i also have a few ideas on what furnitures i want in it. i need to get myself a computer table, work desk and a bookshelf.maybe throw in a reading chair, if the space allows it.

yey! i absolutely love being creative. i am intoxicated with the ideas flowing from my head. i'm becoming more visual. vibrant images excite me and along with it comes the joy of being part of the birth of something wonderful in my life.

moving along

i am still stunned at how things are falling into place with my move to another company. i'm getting my bills paid and most recently, am a proud owner of ACM-802 (that's the family owner jeep). ok fine...it's not as classy as an Altis or Vios but i'll take whatever God gives me. so far i've been taken cared of ever since i gave control of my life to God and i am very, very thankful.

giving up control is still hard for me to swallow. i like knowing what to expect..even just a general idea works fine. but being blind about my future absolutely scares me. right now i'm doing ok just living each moment one day at a time. i always have to remind myself to slow down and CHILL whenever i start being agitated.

i'm enjoying spending time with my old teammates and discovering new friendships in my present team. it's great that i get to share experiences with them. i look forward to new, memorable and crazy adventures ahead!

despite those bouts of loneliness, i can honestly say that life's good and that i am slowly moving forward.